HOW TO SAY “NO” WITH CLASS    

Saying “NO” to a request is one of the hardest things to do because many times we view “NO” as personal rejection.  “No” is literally the rejection of an idea you have presented.  It has nothing to do with who you are.  The next time you receive a “No” response, just say to yourself, “He just didn’t like my idea, it’s nothing personal.”  It was only an idea/suggestion.

THREE WAYS TO SAY “NO" 

“NO” is unavoidable at times.  Prom is no exception.  Remember to consider the other person’s feelings.  Your goal is to answer as sensitively as possible.  Hurting some one’s feelings is not always unavoidable.

 Here, we will discuss three ways of saying “No”. 

1)                  The “I-am- not- interested- in-going-to-the-Prom-with-you! - “NO”              

Someone has extended an invitation to you to go to the Prom and for whatever reason, you are not interested in going with them. 

One way of handling this is to politely respond with, “No, thank you!  I have other plans”.  This would be polite and the other person’s feelings are not in jeopardy of being hurt as much.

If the person is insistent, you may need to become more direct but gentle: “I’m flattered that you asked me to go, but I just can’t see the two of us together at the Prom.”

If the person continues to press you for the reason, you will need to insist that you are just not interested in attending the Prom with them:

             “I’m not sure we would have a good time together”.

             “I’m interested in someone else.”

Make sure that you are honest.  If you are not honest, you may be embarrassed later.  For example, you told them that you were not going to attend the prom and they show up and you are there with someone else.  That would prove to be an embarrassing moment for both of you.  Save face and be honest.  “Honesty is the best policy.”

If you have told someone “NO”, don’t “Blab!”  “Blabbing” would be adding insult to injury.  How would you feel if you had asked someone and they turned you down?  And you later heard, that they had talked about it to someone else.  You would more than likely feel disappointed and hurt.  BE CONSIDERATE OF THE OTHER PERSON’S FEELINGS. 

2)                  The “I’d-love-to-go-to-the-Prom-with-you-but-I-can’t! - “NO”

The key here is that you would like to go with this person to the Prom, but you have other plans.  You want to leave the door open for future invitations.  When this type of invitation comes along, you want to make sure that you convey your regrets:

“Larry, I’m happy that you asked me, but I have other plans that night.  After prom night, I would love to go out with you.”

You may already have a date to the prom.  Remember, honesty is the best policy:

 “Cami, I’m thrilled that you have asked me, but I have already made my plans for the Prom.  But if you are still interested in the future, I would like to go out with you.”

3)                  The “I-am-waiting-for-that-special-someone-to-ask-me! - “NO”

If someone has asked you to the prom and you are waiting for a better offer and now is not the time to give a definite “NO” reply: 

A better response could be, “Josh (or Janet), I’m glad that you asked me but I am unable to give you an answer today.”

Prom time is a very stressful time.  Some students are notorious for putting others on hold in hopes that a better offer will come along.

If you find yourself in a “MAYBE” situation, don’t close the door on an invitation. 

This response will require tact and consideration for the other person.  Don’t make phony excuses or lie.

A negative response would be, “Janet, I’m glad you asked, but I’m waiting for Anna to ask me.”  Can I let you know by Friday?”

A more acceptable response would be, “Janet, I’m really glad you asked, but I’m unable to give you an answer today.”  However, I can give you a definite answer on Friday Evening.”  “Is that okay with you?”  When you respond, it should be:

 ·           Be Genuine

·           Be Enthusiastic

·           Show Appreciation

·           Include a definite time limit (deadline)

·           Value the person and their time.

·            Consider the other person’s feelings.

The first response will cause hurt feelings and you will be labeled insensitive.  No one likes playing “second fiddle”.